Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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