remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
