She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
