Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
