the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
