Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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