Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
