escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
false alarm. still invincible.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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