U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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