Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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