I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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