I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
