I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
