you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
