you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
