It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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