im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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