the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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