my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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