Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
