3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
