she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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