if i died would you start the facebook group?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
