Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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