wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
