yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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