clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize