Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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