I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
