Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
