just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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