I feel like I'm in dance class right now
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
