i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
