She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
