I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
