Plan B is the new Plan A
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
