Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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