I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
