The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
