She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
