Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize