We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
