i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
