I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
