Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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