Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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