It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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