How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
