dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
