shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
