The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
