In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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