just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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