I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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