So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
