I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Randomize
