What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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