whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
