The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
