i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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