Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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