I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize