but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
