you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
40s are totally the cure
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
