Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize