So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
