I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
