He uses pillows to masturbate.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
