How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
